Asking people to pick a coaching style

Often, when I start a coaching session, I begin by asking the question, "What's your goal today?"

People usually respond with a list of challenges they would like to address during the coaching session. Before we tackle any of these challenges, I ask another question:

“Which Daniel do you need today?”

This is my way of explaining that I can adjust my coaching style to fit the needs of the person I'm coaching.

My four different coaching modes

I often offer four “versions” of myself, and the person being coached can choose the one that fits better her challenge and emotional state.

The four coaching modes I offer are:

• Dad mode: I am a reassuring coach that provides a clear action plan without too many options. This mode is best for when people feel overwhelmed and insecure.
• Idea bomb mode: In this mode, I provide a ton of information, ideas, references, templates, and tools related to the challenge. This mode is best for when people are stuck and need inspiration to form a plan.
• Sounding board mode: This is the classical form of coaching, where I help the person develop a solution by asking reflective questions. I do not answer the question or solve the challenge myself. This mode is best for when people need help creating clarity in what they know in a blurry way.
• Q&A bomb mode: In this mode, people have a ton of questions, and I provide short, rapid-fire answers. This mode is best for when people need quick answers to specific questions.

When I ask, “Which Daniel do you need today?” I am often surprised by which coaching mode people choose. The fact that they explain why they chose a certain mode allows me to adapt to their emotions and feelings.

Of course, the coaching mode that you offer will depend on what you feel comfortable providing as a coach. These are the modes that fit my personal coaching style